


Sentenced to life in prison, the prison of my own mind

by fuxkinghurt



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gay Richie Tozier, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Internalized Homophobia, Murder, Not What It Looks Like, Porn Magazines, Richie - Freeform, Richie Tozier's Internalized Homophobia, Self-Harm, Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25409791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuxkinghurt/pseuds/fuxkinghurt
Summary: Richie didn't mean to do it, he didn't mean to kill that kid.
Kudos: 8





	Sentenced to life in prison, the prison of my own mind

**Author's Note:**

> TW  
> -self-harm  
> -mentions of blood  
> -puking  
> -internalized homophobia  
> -mentions of murder  
> -slight implied sexual activity

_You killed him, Richie Tozier_

He grimaces at the thought; he closed the porn magazine only to be met with the eyes of his parents looking at him, hanging neatly on the wall, smiling tenderly. His stomach turned the more he looked back into his parent’s eyes.

He got up and took the photo off his bedroom wall, pushing it under his bed. He felt dirty, and dread filled his head, he had just killed a boy, he felt the burden of murder hit him as he tapped his fingers together, his nails occasionally hitting one another. 

He got up and pattered to the bathroom, his feet meeting the cooling tile as he looked up at his reflection and sighed soon to be met with the feeling of nausea that hit soon after.

_Richie Tozier, what have you done_

He dipped his head down and kneeled at the toilet, clutching his stomach. He puked, and then still with his head over the toilet bowl, he shook. He was nervous, confused and guilty, he felt guilty for the crime he had just committed. 

_You’re going to Hell, Richie Tozier_

He slammed his head violently against the toilet seat, his brain fogging over as he seemed to be slipping into a space that is only accompanied by him. His head pained him as he keeps repeating the motion of his skull meeting the toilet seat 

_He’s gone, Richie Tozier_

A “I’m sorry” slipped from his lips and tears streamed down his cheeks. He flushed the toilet with a shaky hand before scooting back and leaning against the wall, breathing jagged and body shaking.

He didn’t know what had gotten into him, he was curious so he checked out a porn magazine he found hiding out In his father’s closet. Everything looked so overly scripted, but the muscular men seemed to catch his interest and before you know it, his hands stained of blood.

_His parents hanging on the wall, being the only witnesses_

He got up and made his way back into his room, not even bothering to rinse the sour taste from his mouth. Guilt took over, and he reached for a photo on his windowsill, a photo of a boy possibly around the ages of seven or eight. Curly hair, thick glasses, buck teeth, and a sweet, delicate smile plastered onto his face.

Richie took the photo in his hand, grazing his fingers over the photo, grazing his fingers over the pure, innocent and clean boy in the portrait, grazing his fingers over the boy he killed.

_He murdered the innocents of Richie Tozier_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is kinda just a test to see how ao3 works :) This is one of my lazier works based off some feelings of my own, so it's not the best, but I'm 100% open to constructive criticism and comments, and let me know if I missed any trigger warnings or tags, or made any mistakes. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this little thing I wrote at 3 am


End file.
